Why I Chose My Gray Hair
Where to even begin with the decision to go gray? Going gray was almost taboo when I first started the blog in 2015. At the beginning of my blogging and social media career, I received a lot of s**t for having gray hair. Comments like “you look so old” or “if you dye your hair, you’ll take twenty years off” were common place. Now? You can find entire communities of women on Instagram charting their gray journey from start to finish. Truth be told, the decision to go gray is still fraught with controversy. And in reality, like most things in life, it’s not for everyone. But my goal today is simple: for those of you thinking of taking the plunge, and for those of you that already have, I want to share why I chose gray hair. (In reality, it chose me.) But more importantly, I want to share the how and the what now.
Why I Chose My Gray Hair
Probably gonna disappoint you here, but I don’t have a dramatic ‘going gray’ story to share. My long-time followers know that I just do me at the end of the day. And gray is me.
How I transitioned to gray hair
I had a long time to get used to my gray hair. My first strand was discovered at the ripe old age of 17. Through the years, I more or less revealed rather than concealed the gray with highlights.
Over a decade ago, when I turned fifty, my Minneapolis stylist suggested I let my hair go ‘au naturel.’ At the time, we were adding lowlights and highlights that mimicked my natural color. So we just went cold turkey and never added another ‘light’ again.
Never looked back.
Maintaining your hair
Over the years, I gathered a few tips and tricks from stylists on how to transition from colored hair to gray. These steps won’t guarantee an overnight transformation, but they will help with your decision with going gray or not (it’s not for everybody) and what it entails.
- Discuss your options with your hairstylist.
- This is a big decision and having the input of professionals is an essential first step.
- Grow your roots an inch or two, then opt for a pixie cut to remove the dye from your hair.
- Not ready for a drastic change?
- Try a color correction, then add highlights for a ‘salt and pepper’ look.
- This will take continual upkeep as it can take six months to a year to go from color to gray.
- Have long hair?
- Keep your hair in a ponytail or bun and use a color stick on your roots.
- Adding highlights?
- They can tend to turn brassy so ask your stylist/colorist if a toner will help keep the brass at bay.
- A purple shampoo used twice a week will keep your silver locks in tip-top condition.
Hair products
I’ve partnered with many hair product brands over the years, including Hair Biology and Pantene. Make sure to follow those links for an in-depth look at their products. But at a high level, below is the weekly hair routine I generally follow.
Daily hair care products
Daily styling products
Weekly conditioner
Purple shampoo (twice a week)
- Kerastase Blond Absolu Anti-Brass Purple Shampoo
- Pantene Silver Expressions
- Hair Biology Purple Shampoo
- Hair Biology Purple Conditioner
Strengthening conditioner (twice a week)
Combating the effects of aging hair
Yes, our hair, like our skin, is aging with us. First and foremost, healthy hair starts with a healthy diet:
- Lots of lean protein is important.
- Avoid too much fat.
- Eat the right carbs.
- Drink lots of water.
As for your hair proper:
- Get a regular trim every six to eight weeks to keep your hair healthy and growing.
- Washing your hair removes natural oils, so skip a few days.
- Since I work out regularly, I alternate using shampoo plus conditioner with days I use conditioner only.
- Wet hair is fragile. Instead of wrapping your hair in a towel after your shower, just blot with a towel.
- Chemical treatments like bleaching, straightening, and dying cause the hair to become stiff and dry, causing it to break.
- Make sure to use the best products for color-treated hair.
- Add a water filter to your shower head
Haircuts
A terrific haircut is important whether you color your hair or not. If you decide to embrace your silver locks, make darn sure you have an up-to-date ‘do.’ right?! Your hair color doesn’t add years to your face, but an out-of-date haircut can put you in a time warp. Easier said than done these days.
That being said, here’s a brief history of a few of the haircuts I’ve rocked over the years. Hopefully, you’ll find some inspiration here.
Pop of color
Finally, it’s important to remember that a vibrant shade of lipstick will perk up your face, especially when we embrace our silver locks. Reds, pinks, corals—whatever suits your fancy will work just fine. But add a gorgeous lip color as it will dramatically change your look.
An all-time bestseller is Mac Ruby Woo—a red lipstick that is universally loved. Think again if you think an over 50 woman can’t rock a bold lip.
Some women change their color scheme after going gray and their choice of jewelry too. I am not one of those women. Of course, certain colors favor my skin tone, but I love to color outside the lines, so you will see me rocking browns, camels, and blacks on any given day. As for jewelry? I mix metals wear gold, silver, and platinum. Give me all the jewels all the time. But if you feel more confident wearing particular colors for your clothes or jewelry, then by all means, permit yourself. Style is always about personal preferences. And for those of you who love to color your hair? Then keep on doing you. There are so many choices in the 21st century.
In case you missed it
That’s a wrap on why I chose gray hair. In case you missed it, we’ve featured some great OOTDs. Make sure to check out
Hello, I have been following you for about 1 year now. I really enjoy your blog. Your topic for today is timely for me. I am going gray. My hair is about your length and I have started to grow out my gray since late Nov. I have a great stylist and she is awesome with short hair. So I want to have gray hair and a great cut. I am unsure about what to do about taking out the color and putting in a light blonde but, my hair is medium brown. I may just keep cutting it and not do any coloring fearing the health of my hair. Thanks for your tips. Have a great day.
I too have embraced my gray, but not completely. Ha! I continue to add low lights just to add a bit of color as my husband isn’t ready for total gray. We’re working on it. Love the Hair Biology Products. Thanks for your introducing them.
I love your grey hair.
you look beautiful.
Started growing out mine January 2021 and I love it.
My comment to this post is YES, YES and YES. When I was younger there was a beautiful (older) model with gorgeous short silver hair. I thought she was so beautiful and said when the time was right, I’d happily go gray. Well several years ago, my stylist commented about a section of forehead hair that was turning silver and she suggested we start the process. I have multi shades from almost charcoal in back to silvery tones throughout. I do wear it shorter. I have SO many compliments from friends and they all are shocked when I tell them it’s all natural. Now that I know about the issues with all the chemicals that colorants have…I know it was the right move.
I love your hair.
You look beautiful.
I am 57 years and I started growing out my highlights last January (2021). I love my new “Regal Look”
To the Blog Sisters pondering to gray or not to gray, I highly recommend you go for it, but remember it’s indeed a process you and your stylist can tweak along the way. A saucy, sassy, ahem, sexy cut goes a long way in providing the new self-confidence you may need. Prepare for the sweet looks and compliments sure to come your way! Hugs to all!
I was a little worried about going grey. I followed a couple of groups on facebook for ideas. Now I’ve been grey for well over a year and love it. No more worrying about roots, fading…. it is so liberating!
You have to be ready though ladies… don’t let anyone talk you in or out of it.
Hi Beth.
After 20+ years of coloring my hair , my hairdresser began telling me of my natural color changes. I made the decision to go natural at the onset of Covid 19 when beauty shops were closed. Over the past 3 years my hair has transitioned from gray to white and I am
pleased that I made the change!
Hi Beth! I have been following you for several years now, and I did a blog post last week on going gray. I introduced you and put in a link to your blog, and told my ladies that you have many posts about this topic. So thanks for the timely post!!!!
I went grey during the pandemic in 2020 when we were going no where including the hair dresser. I think your grey hair is beautiful.
“I do me.” Love it!!!! I am normally a short hair girl, but grew it out two years ago. I see your fabulous short hair & think it’s time to chop!
Beth,
I took the plunge to go gray during the pandemic and never looked back! My hair is so much healthier now and my husband and family loved the new look. People think I have the white streaks framing my face put in, but nope, they’re all mine. I earned them! I recently saw a post on Pinterest that calls them “wisdom highlights”. Go gray girls!
You look fabulous! I love your desire & strength to “do you” – healthy outlook & so much more fun than trying to be someone else! I started letting my grey come in years ago. I switched to wash-out dyes for the first year or so & then my hair was ready to go grey on its own. People always think I am adding silver highlights to my hair – ha! I am glad you stressed getting a current haircut & wearing lipstick as doing so makes a huge difference in going grey. That said, I cringe when I see gorgeous hair from the back but a disconnect with an aging face & dyed hair when I see the woman from the front. For me, that look ages a woman much more than grey hair would.
Beautiful
I also sent gray when I turned 60 and like it a lot.
I always been a natural type of women!!
I notice you wear all colors Nd they all look super
Beth are you sure I am protected,
even if I see my name and e mail all the time now?
Thank you for sharing
Like you, I got my first white hair at 17. I have white hair instead of gray or silver & have never colored my hair. One stylist referred to my hair as virgin hair because it has never been colored, permed or had any chemical treatment. Going white was fairly painless as there were no roots to hide. You are absolutely right about a good cut & youthful style. I wear mine in a bob with bangs because that’s who I am. Thanks for sharing your story.
Hey Beth —
I also decided to go au naturel at the beginning of the pandemic when I couldn’t get to my stylist. Quarantining was a natural time for that. Plus I was spending so much time and money getting my stubborn silver touched up. I let it grow for a bit and when I did get to go see my stylist, we went short, shorter, shortest! I loved the super short pixie. I love the pixie on you, too! It took some time to get rid of all the color, but now it’s still short and all me. Turns out at 64, my silver is still just in the front, with some salt and pepper elsewhere. It’s so much easier. I only shampoo 2x/week and just use the purple shampoo. Other days I just get it wet to style the bedhead. One of my dearest friends was totally silver when we met at age 29. To those who are considering it, I say go for it. You can always color again, but don’t be surprised if you choose not to do so. My stylist was uncertain, but now loves the way it looks.
Over the past two years I have let my hair go grey. About a month and half ago I had my hair cut into a pixie cut as you recommended. . What I have found is freedom and a different kind of confidence about myself. As I am approaching 80 in a year in half I need to look my best self. For me that is au natural. Easier upkeep! Loving it after many many years of coloring and styling. Going grey is truly a personal choice.
Kudos to the stylists and hairdressers that have the integrity to say ‘when.’ Let’s face it, high/low lights and colouring in general is definitely good for their bottom line, so I truly admire them for recommending what they think is the best choice for a client’s hair instead.
I did the change, fraught with lots of hilarious miss steps along the way. The irony now being, those who made the most ‘remarks’ about my decision, are now turning up to my stylist asking for my high/low lights 🤣. My hair is a mix of auburns, steel, grey and brilliant white, but in such a way that it looks like fine deliberately done colours. My stylist and I have great giggles as she has said, no amount of money can get my mix. She was the one who held my hand during my home ‘experiments’ and fixed them. She assured me that my hair, regardless of the final natural colour, would suit me, because it was nature’s choice for me.
You are so right about cuts, makeup, wardrobe too. Nothing worse than my 73 yr old gal pals trying to do nude makeup. If a person is not sure how to do ‘grey’ makeup, when it’s safe for them, they should consider having a makeup artist do an assessment. Let them know what your life style is, your preferences, and just go for it. I don’t look great in my coral lippies now, but have found some divine roses/berries that I adore.
You are spot on, Beth. Life is a journey – embrace your life and enjoy the ride. 🌷
I made the decision a few years back after spending way too much time and money trying to look “natural”. I have never looked back – even when a stranger stopped me on the parking lot of the grocery store mid-way through the process and told me that I would regret my decision to go gray! It is liberating, and I get complimented on my true color more than I ever did when I thought I was hiding the fact that I was going gray.
Your hair looks great! You are the one who inspired me to stop coloring my hair. It was the fall before the pandemic and who knew that without color my dark hair was silver and gray. My hairdresser helped it along and I couldn’t be happier. Thanks, Beth!
I don’t have much gray yet but when the time comes will go for it. I wouldn’t want the hassles of keeping up with root touch ups constantly. I think your hair is beautiful. I so agree with wearing a flattering lip shade. It does make all the difference. With gray or without, once we are of a “certain age.” I also think it is fabulous that you where all colors. Personally I think you can rock camel & the warmer shades as well as cool tones. Fashion & makeup should also be fun& some bloggers are so rigid in what they say should be worn. Glad that isn’t you !!
Beth, your gray hair is beautiful! In fact, you were my inspiration for going to my natural hair color. I was completely gray/white by my mid-30’s but kept coloring. Fast forward to COVID 2020 and it was time to start growing out the color. I love my natural color and wonder now why I waited so long. No regrets!
I too spotted that first grey at 16.
At 52 when I was coloring every 3 weeks my husband looked down in passing and said “your grey is so shiny and healthy looking, you should just let it go” That was it for me. My stylist bleached sections of my hair to streak grey through so I did not have the stripe at my partline. we also cut & styled it short. and I haven’t had color since It is so easy not to have to worry about coloring everytime I receive an invitation “do I need to touch up my roots” Love my hair, and still get so many compliments on it
Your hair is beautiful and you have the perfect eye color and complexion to carry it off. I once tried going gray but looked really washed out. Perhaps a bright lipstick would make a difference as you suggested. It certainly would make life easier than worrying about roots showing and frequent salon visits. I applaud you!
Hi Beth, as you know because I’ve mentioned it before you were my inspiration for going grey. I started about three years ago and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done as regards to my hair. Your short style gave me the idea at the time as well, so again thank you. My hair is healthier because of not putting all the chemicals on which again is a bonus. Lovely to look back at the styles you’ve had too, even though I always love your hair in a short style xoxo
I let my hair go gray in 2014. My husband was gravely I’ll, and I missed so many hair appointments that I decided to see how it would look without the color. My hairdresser thought I would hate it, but I loved it and haven’t looked back. I have always admired your hair and your style.