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How Not to Look Frumpy and Older

Let’s Talk About “Frumpy” The Word That Gets Every Woman Riled Up

I get it. The key to aging is not to look frumpy and older. Say frumpy out loud and you’ll hear it — that collective groan from women everywhere. We hate the word, but we all use it. “I feel so frumpy today.” “This outfit is making me look frumpy.” It’s code for when our reflection stops matching our energy.

Frumpy isn’t about size or age — it’s about energy and intention. It’s what happens when your outfit says “comfortable,” but your presence says “checked out.”

And listen, I’ve been around long enough to know the feeling. (I even have a line in my book about still wearing the same haircut since the Clinton administration — and no, that’s not a compliment.)

So let’s define it, fix it, and move on — because style should evolve with you, not against you.

According to the dictionary, frumpy means “dowdy, old-fashioned, or lacking style.” But here’s the modern translation:

Frumpy is when your clothes stop reflecting your confidence.

It’s not about wrinkles or weight — it’s about wearing pieces that say past tense when you’re still very much present tense.

What “Frumpy” Is and What It Isn’t

Frumpy isn’t a body type, a birthday, or a number on the tag. It’s when the details stop keeping up with the woman you’ve become.

Frumpy happens when:

  • Comfort becomes a uniform.
  • Fit becomes optional.
  • You stop editing your wardrobe because “it still fits.”

Frumpy isn’t failure — it’s feedback. And today, we’re listening. Today’s post is all about How Not to Look Frumpy and Older.

1. Retire the Boxy Cardigans and Shapeless Tops

Those oversized layers promised comfort, but they deliver volume. You’re not hiding flaws — you’re hiding your figure. Listen, I love a classic cardigan. I just make certain it fits.

Fix it: Add structure. A cropped jacket or fitted jacket, a belted sweater, or a tucked-in blouse instantly sharpens your shape.

Beth Style Tip: Style is posture for your wardrobe — a little structure lifts everything.

2. Say Goodbye to Capri Pants

Capris are the Bermuda Triangle of style — everything flattering disappears once you enter.

Fix it: Choose ankle-length pants that end just above the ankle bone. It’s the slimmest part of your leg and instantly modern. Flare jeans are another great option, as well as traditional trousers.

Beth Style Tip: If it hits mid-calf, it’s not cropped — it’s confused.

3. Rethink Your Jewelry

Matchy-matchy sets and micro-delicate pieces read “predictable.”

Fix it: Mix metals, layer chains, go sculptural. Jewelry should tell a story — not recite one from 2002.

Favorite brands: Lagos for their modern take on classic jewelry, and they mix metals. But you can never go wrong with costume jewelry. Talbots or J.Crew always have something modern and fresh.

Beth Style Tip: Jewelry is punctuation. End every outfit with an exclamation point.

4. Step Away from the Clunky Shoes

Comfort doesn’t require orthopedic soles.

Fix it: Choose sleek loafers, low block heels, or minimalist sneakers. The goal is support and sophistication.

Favorite comfortable brands: Vivaia (use code bethd for 10% off), Sam Edelman, Marc Fisher

Beth Style Tip: Shoes should whisper “style,” not shout “arch support.”

5. Update Your Makeup Routine

Your face deserves the same attention as your wardrobe. Matte foundation and frosted shadow aren’t doing you favors. I’m a big fan of Merit Makep (Kelly, too!). This Fast & Fresh YouTube video features Merit.

Fix it: Go for creamy textures and luminous finishes. Think glow, not glitter.

Beth Style Tip: The goal isn’t to look younger — it’s to look alive.

YouTube video

6. Stop Letting Color Charts Run Your Closet

You are not a season — you’re a woman with taste. You are not an Autumn, a Spring, or a piece of fruit. Please give yourself permission to wear whatever color makes you feel happy and alive.

That said, yes, some colors look better than others. Certain shades make your complexion glow, your eyes pop, and your confidence skyrocket. But you don’t have to live in fear of stepping outside your assigned palette. That’s color harmony, not color restriction

But here’s the modern truth:

Every color has a warm-to-cool spectrum.

There’s no such thing as “you can’t wear red” — it’s about which red.
A cool, blue-red flatters some, while a warm, tomato red works for others. The same goes for pinks, blues, greens — every color can be tweaked to complement your undertone.

So no, you don’t need to live in beige because a stylist once told you you’re a “Summer.” If a color lifts your mood and lights up your face, it belongs in your wardrobe.

Color analysis can be a helpful starting point, but it’s not a lifelong sentence. If your chart says “no black,” but you feel powerful in black? Wear it. If a red lipstick lifts your mood, that’s reason enough. I love pink! It’s my signature color. But I can’t imagine wearing it every single day. I also love yellow. I know, I know that this particular yellow windowpane jacket from J. McLaughlin is sold out. But they carry the same jacket in blue. See what I mean? Pink, yellow, or blue, I love them all.

Fix it: If a color flatters your complexion and your confidence, it’s your color. Wear what makes you feel visible and vibrant.

Beth Style Tip: Confidence trumps color theory — every time.

7. Revisit Your Haircut Even the Classics Evolve

The bob and the pixie never go out of style — but they do go out of date. The blunt, stiff cuts of 2005 don’t translate today. I have short hair and have for years. And I love a long bang, but that doesn’t mean I don’t mix up my style from time to time.

Fix it: Ask for movement, texture, and lightness. Today’s classic cuts are effortless, not over-styled. Here’s a recent post on How to Style Pixie Hair.

Beth Style Tip: If your haircut hasn’t changed since college, it’s not classic — it’s archival.

BONUS: Know Your Body Type

Style starts with self-awareness. You can’t dress confidently if you’re fighting your frame.

Knowing your body type isn’t about labeling yourself — it’s about balance. Every figure has strengths; the trick is to highlight them intentionally.

Quick guide:

  • Rectangle: Create curves — belted waists, peplum tops, wide-leg pants.
  • Apple: Elongate — V-necks, structured jackets, straight-leg trousers.
  • Pear: Balance — wider necklines, statement tops, straight or flared bottoms.
  • Hourglass: Accentuate — wrap dresses, fitted blazers, high-rise denim.
  • Inverted Triangle: Soften — A-line skirts, bootcut jeans, draped blouses.

Beth Style Tip: When you dress for your body, not the mannequin’s, you look like you own the room — not just the outfit.

Closing Thoughts

Frumpy isn’t the end of style — it’s a signpost. It means your wardrobe hasn’t caught up with your life yet.

The fix isn’t starting over; it’s editing smarter.
Because classic isn’t code for stuck. It’s the art of knowing what works — and having the courage to update it.

Beth Style Tip: When in doubt, stand up straight, add lipstick, and lose the capris. Instead, opt for a skirt! Or a one-and-done dress. Ninety percent of the battle is awareness.

So tell me, Grit and Glam Club — which of these tips hit home? Are you team “retire the cardigan” or “book that haircut”? Drop your confession below — we’re all in this together.

FAQs: How Not to Dress Frumpy and Look Older

Q: What makes an outfit look frumpy?
A: Poor fit, dated details, and missing intention. Frumpy isn’t comfort—it’s complacency.

Q: Are bobs and pixies still in style?
A: Always. But they evolve—so should yours. Ask for movement and texture.

Q: What’s one small thing I can do right now to look less frumpy?
A: Tuck in your top. Define your waist. Confidence is in the proportion.

Q: Can I be stylish without chasing trends?
A: Absolutely. Style isn’t about new—it’s about you, edited.

Q: What colors make you look younger?
A: Any color that brightens your complexion and makes you feel visible. Energy reads younger than beige ever will.

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  1. Maeve

    This is a great column. You imparted useful information, and you made me laugh — out loud, at least three times. Enjoy your week.

    1. Beth

      Now that’s what I love to hear — laughter and a few takeaways! Thank you for reading and sharing the joy. Have a fabulous week!

  2. Teresa

    Hi Beth. I LOVE your blog, and today’s blog spoke to me about “frumpy.” This is how I’ve been feeling lately. I lost some weight due to diabetes medication and I don’t seem to know my size anymore, and I don’t know when styles are “dated.” I usually wear something pretty classic or casual now. Please help!

    1. Beth

      Oh, thank you so much — I’m so glad you’re here! And I completely understand that ‘frumpy’ feeling. Our bodies (and wardrobes) shift over time, especially when health changes come into play. First, give yourself grace — it’s perfectly normal to feel a little off balance.

      Start by revisiting your basics: a great pair of jeans that truly fit now, a crisp white shirt, a structured blazer, and a few knits that skim (not cling). Try everything on in good lighting and pay attention to what makes you stand taller — that’s your new fit guide.

      As for dated styles, focus on clean lines and good tailoring. Skip anything with too much fuss (cold shoulders, excessive ruffles, heavy embellishment) — modern style is all about simplicity with polish.

      You’ve already done the hard part — taking care of your health. Now it’s just about finding clothes that reflect the strong, stylish woman you already are.

  3. Leila

    This was a great post!

    1. Beth

      Thank you! Always love hearing that — makes my day!

  4. Sherry Ulrich

    Loved this post! So many good tips and ideas. Thank you for all the outfit ideas. Your great!

    1. Beth

      Thank you! I’m thrilled you loved the post — style should be equal parts fun and functional, right? I so appreciate you being here!

  5. Nancy P

    Love the Talbot’s light brown blazer. Your advice was excellent and I loved all the outfits .

    1. Beth

      Thank you so much! Isn’t that Talbots blazer a gem? It’s such a versatile piece — pairs beautifully with just about everything. I’m so glad you loved the outfits!

  6. Karen J

    What a great piece today with lots of useful suggestions! I love reading your daily blog and appreciate all your tips. Thanks Beth!!

    1. Beth

      Thank you so much! I’m so glad you’re enjoying the blog and finding the tips helpful — that truly means a lot. I appreciate you being here every day!

  7. M. W. Gillis

    I would like to know what brands the striped navy and white hoodie and navy jacket in the opening to this post. Thank you

    1. Beth

      Both of those pieces are from 2015 – J.Crew who always carries classic wardrobe staples.

  8. Wendy

    This is a great post! Love all your ideas about frumpy… I’m always aware of looking updated but not stuffy!
    One thing I wrestle with is what to wear for socks when wearing jeans or pants with low heeled shoes and your ankles are showing. I like to cover my ankles since I have visible veins in my ankle area but can’t wear boots constantly.
    Thanks! Wendy

    1. Beth

      Thanks so much, Wendy! I’m right there with you — striking that balance between polished and modern can be tricky. For visible ankles, try opaque trouser socks or fine-knit socks that match either your shoe or pant color. Black on black always looks chic, but I also love a tonal gray or navy. And if you want something more feminine, a sheer sock with subtle texture can add polish without feeling frumpy.

  9. Jane F

    Would you be able to tell me where you bought the stripped hoodie sweater you have on at the beginning of this post? It looks great on you!
    Thank you and I enjoy your content.
    Jane

    1. Beth

      Both of those pieces are from 2015 – J.Crew who always carries classic wardrobe staples.

  10. Paula Gaumer

    This was very helpful. I have read and followed you for many years but I still need to tweak some things. I do struggle with the body type. As I get older my mid section gets bigger. I sometimes am tempted to the oversized tops to hide things but that is a frumpy look. What would you suggest?
    Also the makeup tips were helpful. Oh the whole article was great. It’s one I should refer to over and over again

    1. Beth

      So glad you found it helpful — and I completely understand! Our bodies shift as we age, and it’s all about finding shape without overwhelm. A blazer, a wrap top, or even a half-tucked shirt can work wonders. And yes, a peplum can be flattering if the flare starts at or just above your natural waist — look for a soft drape that defines rather than adds volume. Thank you for being part of this community for so many years!

  11. Charlotte

    Thanks for bringing back Latest Finds. I’ve found some of my best pieces there.

    1. Beth

      So happy to hear that! It’s always been one of my favorite features — great to know it’s one of yours too.”

  12. Suzy

    You look so good in the jeans with pink accessories! I love the look. You really do look good in every color! I know I look good in most shades of blue but I need to tiptoe outside my comfort zone and try something different.
    You and Kelly peaked my interest in the Merit makeup so I ordered a few starter pieces. I’m excited to try it. I’ll let you know how it works for me.

    1. Beth

      Thank you so much! Pink has a way of brightening everything — mood included! And yes, step outside that blue comfort zone — even a scarf or lipstick in a new shade can surprise you. I’m so glad you’re trying Merit; it’s such an easy, natural line. Definitely let me know what you think!

  13. Marlette van der Merwe

    Hi Beth. The best part of today’s post was the blow-up photos of you! I’ve said this before, but you really inspire by the way you look and the genuine vibe you send out to those women intelligent enough to listen to you! With your influence (for want of a better word) I changed my hairstyle, and although my daughter-in-law is not wild about it, the butcher (who doesn’t ever say much more than hullo and goodbye, said “Oh! You look sexy!” and made kind of fluffing-up movements with his hands!” I count that as a successful transition to more ‘modern, fresh and relevant’…

    1. Beth

      Thank you so much — that made me laugh out loud! I’d say if the butcher noticed, you’re definitely doing something right. I love that you took the plunge with your hair. Modern, fresh, and relevant looks good on you!

  14. Jane Lynch

    You wrote a book?!?! Tell me about it!
    Love you and your sweet family for years

    1. Beth

      Yes! It’s called (In)Sincere Motives — a romantic suspense full of art, intrigue, and a dash of glamour. Thank you for following along all these years!

  15. Paulette M. Likens

    Great post. I’m ditching all capris after finishing! Love reading your post. Have been weeding out closets and donating clothes. Not looking back starting fresh.
    Paulette

    1. Beth

      Good for you! Nothing feels better than a closet refresh — and yes, it’s time to let those capris go! Starting fresh is always empowering.

  16. Judith

    Lots of us may be very short waisted – tucked in tops cut us off in the wrong way. Some of us have a roll or full waist that bulges and looks awkward under fitted tops and sweaters. Some of us are unable to work on an exercise routine due to ailments and chronic illness.Hence loosesly fitted tops. Some of us only leave the house for medical appointments. Some of us cannot drive anymore. some of us don’t have family living nearby. Some of us are low incomes and cannot afford going out to lunch or dinner or entertaining at home. In the age group of fifty plus, life is tough for the majority of women. Looking Frumpy ??? My 75yrs old sister-in-law, due to back surgery and leg surgery, wears loose pull up soft fabric slacks (black only) and tops that just hand from the shoulder!!! She once was a stunning and classic, stylish dresser. But no more. However, she does colour-ordinate her clothes. Most women complain that clothes are not made for the ‘aging’ female who no longer has a slim waist or thighs. Just big sizes that hand from the shoulders and cover up everything. If a designer, at an affordable price, produced garments that were shaped at the shoulders, and had a graceful drape / swing, a fuller figure (not obese) could and would look more stylish. Why don’t you do a series on the fuller figure ???

    1. Beth

      Thank you for sharing your story. I know so many women relate to what you’ve described — our bodies and lives change, but we still deserve to feel beautiful and seen. I’ll keep that in mind for future content. 💙

  17. Claire

    Brilliant, clever and well thought through response to the use of that first pic on the net. This post sums up so much of what you have been saying for years and is a perfect rebuttal. Kudos.

Navy Coat winter outfit

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