this post has been a long time coming. a year and a half to be exact. after we received the diagnosis that mr. style had liver cancer. thirty years ago i lost my father to cancer. now i’m faced with losing my husband to the same dreaded disease. which is why i hate cancer and hated it for a very long time. and i know many of you have lost friends and family alike to this illness. because it seems this is a rampant disease that afflicts far too many of us. whether it’s breast cancer, lung cancer, pancreatic cancer, liver cancer, colon cancer, or ovarian cancer. the list seemingly goes on and on as there are more than 100 types of cancer in existence. what a shocking statistic.
why do i hate cancer? because it creeps into your life like a thief in the night. then starts robbing their victim from their vitality. cancer has been recognized for thousands of years as a human ailment. but in the past century, there have been remarkable advances in cancer diagnosis and treatment. although the fact remains that some forms of this disease are difficult to treat like liver cancer. have i mentioned i hate this disease?
from the get-go mr. style has had a wonderful attitude about his prognosis. and we clearly understood that any treatment would only control the disease not cure it. mr. style’s main objective was always quality of life over longevity. and he wasn’t convinced he would have the quality he wanted while undergoing treatment: radiation followed by immunotherapy. my children and i fully supported his decision. although i imagine when he saw the sadness in all of our eyes he changed his mind and decided, “what the heck! what’s a treatment or two in the grand scheme of things?”
so last summer mr. style underwent two radiation sessions in atlanta which seemed to do the trick. until his second MRI scan in november. the cancer had grown which meant he was handed off to an oncologist who suggested two different treatments. both of which came at a risk. again, mr. style was concerned with the quality of his life. but after much back and forth with the children and myself he decided to try one session of immunotherapy then go from there. and one session was all it took for his body to rebel. since the beginning of april we’ve seen a steady decline with his health. which seemed to accelerate about the time of his 67th birthday on may 22nd.
it’s alarming to see your loved one deteriorate at such a fast pace. hospice recently stepped into our lives. what a blessing they have been. i can’t sing their praises enough! hospice care treats the person not the disease and their staff is supporting mr. style in every aspect. our children are making regular visits to see their dad. and he counts the days from the time they leave until they’re back home under our roof.
even though cancer has taken a toll on mr. style’s physical and emotional health he’s determined to live with strength and dignity until the end. and me? well, i’m standing beside my husband of 35 years trying to give him the love and support he deserves. of course there are days and weeks when it seems i cry at the drop of a hat and i’m uncertain about my future. then there are other days and weeks when i’m stoic, in control and know that life goes on even when your heart is broken.
the past months have truly been a time of reflection for me and my family. and we’ve been touched by the kindness and compassion given to mr. style in big and small ways. which is why i am now sharing our trial with all of you. i know we are not the first family to go through pain and suffering. and i know we won’t be the last. no one who walks this earth is immune from tribulation. that much i know. but we can share one another’s burdens which ease the load. and i know many of you dear readers are going through a similar struggle.
i will share updates with you from time-to-time in regards to mr. style’s health. but the business of the blog will continue. mr. style was adamant about that. it’s the normalcy of life that pulls you through the pain. and the blog brings me such joy. i have all of you to thank for that.
please keep us in your prayers. we will take every last one.